Death Bed: The Bed that Eats — Blue Fairy Film Blog

“Death Bed: The Bed that Eats,” is an acclaimed cult film that took me many years to find, and astounded me throughout. If you are unaware of this magical film then I must direct you to the Patton Oswalt bit that made me track it down and find it. Lost for a good 22 years, “Death Bed: The Bed that Eats,” was deemed too terrible to be released, and was stored away until recently. Not only was it too bad to be released, but too bad to be released by Hammer Film Productions, a company that also released “Dracula AD 1972” and “Creatures the World Forgot.” While “Death Bed” is assuredly not a great film, it is not the train wreck I was hoping for. Instead it is a film that tries too hard to be artsy, and ends up being strange and ridiculous.

The title alone, is incredible. I mean, seriously, a bed that eats people? Sign me up. I am on board for this. As strange as it sounds, this film is trying to be more than an exploitation film featuring a people-eating piece of furniture. The filmmakers make these ridiculous, nonsensical choices throughout the film, which will constantly keep you asking questions at your screen and inevitably lending to high pitched squeals of laughter. The entire film is narrated by a raspy whisper of a voice, provided by a trapped spirit who sits behind a painting that hangs in the room where the bed stays. The bed resides in an abandoned house, which is visited by three girls. It’s unclear whether they meant to stay in this abandoned house, or come upon it.

There’s some back-story, but it’s not really important to the overall film. We also get flashbacks on the origins and methodology of this killer bed, which includes a heartbroken demon, some bloody tears, an undisturbed grave, and magic. If you aren’t paying close enough attention, or don’t hear all this in the narration, you will be asking questions for the rest of the film, which makes it difficult to watch with a big group of friends. To be honest the bed isn’t much of a villain, since it’s only divisive move is eating people. It doesn’t exist to torment or torture people, it just wants to eat. Yes it laughs in an evil manner, but that’s about it.

If it’s so terrible, why watch it you ask: Because this film is beyond hilarious throughout its run time. Between the hilarious choices, the ridiculous imagery, the over-the-top art-house ambitions, the god awful concept, and the stilted acting, this film entertains throughout. If you’re not yelling at the screen in derision in the first ten minutes I would be very surprised. I personally went out and bought an actual DVD of this atrocity and I highly recommend this film for those who like bad movies, lost movies, or man-eating beds, in general.